Book Resources

Additional Resources for Chapter 5, page 67

The objective of this link is to provide you an array of qualities and characteristics under each of the ten topics designed to assist you in creating your own list of personal qualities.  We follow the order of topics from the Personal Characteristics Chart—located at the end of  chapter 5 and available (in larger size) under the tools icon in this chapter.

Most of the 168 items listed will not apply.  That means that although you may be, for instance, occasionally depressed; you would not enter that on your chart as a personal characteristic.  You need to include items that are: 1) really characteristic of you, and 2) likely to have an impact on who you date and eventually marry.

Some of the items are single words, others have a question mark after (asking, is this or is this not an issue?) and others suggest a continuum to alert you to the range of possibilities in a particular area. The lists are, of course, not comprehensive.  But if you wish to complete an excellent profile of yourself, these items should cue ideas you had not previously considered.

See the Reference Personal Qualities List in this chapter for a much more extensive list.

Social and Relational

1. Extroverted vs. introverted
2. Loving vs. unloving
3. Caring vs. uncaring
4. Level of respect shown to others: low vs. high
5. Critical vs. appreciative
6. Level of humor: absent vs. abundant
7. Communication ability
8. Prejudiced or racist?
9. Needy?
10. Sociability: highly social vs. anti social
11. Affectionate vs. cold
12. Articulate vs. verbally clumsy
13. Witty vs. dull
14. Talkative vs. quiet
15. Level of romanticism: low to high
16. Sensitive vs. hard boiled
17. Emotionality: excessive vs. cool and reserved
18. Party animal vs. loner
19. Level of loyalty
20. Tactful vs. hurtfully blundering

Family

1. Overall importance of family: central vs. peripheral
2. Loves extended family
3. Enjoys huge family gatherings
4. Children: wants vs. doesn’t want; loves vs. dislikes
5. Divorced: yourself, parents? Number of former marriages
6. Children from previous relationships
7. Stability and quality of family of origin
8. Controlling?
9. Domineering?
10. Jealous?
11. Codependent?
12. Good parenting skills
13. Playful?
14. Are there “problem people” from former relationships
15. Pets: loves/wants them vs. hates/refuses them

Spiritual/Philosophical

1. Christian?
2. Denomination?
3. Honest vs. morally flexible
4. Able to forgive vs. holds a grudge
5. Spiritual vs. worldly minded
6. Strength of convictions
7. Attitude toward church attendance
8. Attitude toward involvement with Church ministries
9. Patterns of worship and prayer in the home?
10. Frequency of reading spiritually uplifting material

Temperament/Personality

1. Selfish vs. altruistic
2. Active vs. passive
3. Anger control and expression
4. Kindness
5. Patience vs. impatience
6. Neurotic vs. emotionally stable
7. Self-esteem: Healthy vs. unhealthy
8. Humble vs. proud
9. Commitment: able vs.  unable to form secure commitments
10. Level of control: low vs. high level of control
11. Manipulative?
12. Industry: lazy bum to workaholic
13. Flirtatious?
14. Frequency of depression: rare to omnipresent
15. Stubborn vs. open to suggestions
16. Attitude: Optimistic vs. pessimistic
17. Poverty mindset vs. abundance mentality
18. Decisive vs. waffling
19. Highly principled vs. expedient
20. Genuine vs. trivial
21. Harbors hatred or bitterness
22. Generous vs. stingy
23. Broad minded vs. opinionated
24. Narcissistic, that is, obsessed with self
25. Ambitious vs. content with the status quo
26. Level of energy: weak vs. Strong
27. Interesting vs. boring
28. Impulsive/reactive vs. thoughtful/planning
29. Shallow vs. profound
30. Cooperative vs. stubborn

Personal Habits

1. Neat and orderly vs. slovenly and disorderly
2. Early riser?
3. Tightly structured time management?
4. Smoking?
5. Drinking?
6. Drug use?
7. Caffeine?
8. Squeaky clean vs. unsanitary
9. Addictions: gambling, porn, soap operas, substances
10. Sexuality: responsible vs. promiscuous
11. Prudent vs. spendthrift
12. Swears vs. verbally responsible
13. Cultured vs. barbarian
14. Responsible vs. irresponsible
15. Argumentative vs. conflict avoider
16. Passive aggressive?
17. Work to create balance
18. Work to get into the “divine flow”

Interests/Passions

1. Music: enjoys listening vs. actively involved
2. Love of the outdoors
3. Spiritual growth
4. Evangelism
5. Dogs, cats, or other animals
6. Classical music/opera
7. Reading
8. Classic movies
9. Football/baseball/hockey/basketball/Olympic sports
10. Personal growth
11. Extraordinary talent or accomplishments
12. Shop till you drop fanatic?
13. Level of involvement/obsession in any of the areas listed above

Intellectual/Financial/Vocational

1. Employed?
2. Profession
3. Importance of advancement in your profession
4. Likelihood of change of location or change of profession
5. Pride in performance
6. Enjoyment of your profession
7. How well your job provides financially
8. Investment activities
9. Present financial prosperity
10. Goals to achieve wealth
11. Entrepreneurial
12. Reading and watching “trade” books/videos
13. Committed to personal growth?
14. Content with the status quo?
15. Activities designed to improve your mind?
16. Average number of books read per year
17. Workaholic?
18. Risk taker vs. obsessed with safety
19. Visionary vs. lives in the moment
20. Logical thinker vs. emotional, reactive thinker
21. Level of education

Physical Characteristics

1. Age
2. Height
3. Weight: Obese, overweight, ideal weight, anorexic
4. Body build
5. Level of attractiveness
6. Ethnicity
7. Sexiness, level of allure: low to high
8. Physical handicaps?
9. Athleticism

Health/Fitness

1. Healthy vs. prone to illness
2. Athleticism: low to high
3. Regular exercise regimen vs. none
4. Dietary (e.g., Vegetarian, low fat, high fiber, etc.)
5. Weight reduction/maintenance program
6. Exercise enthusiast
7. Avoid exercise at all costs
8. Read books/magazines and watch videos about health and fitness

Contributions/Service

1. Member of city organizations (such as city council)
2. Member of service clubs (Rotary, Interact, Elks, Lions)
3. Active member of church
4. Participate in church ministries
5. Make financial contributions to missions or other worthy causes
6. Member of other local organizations: PTA, SPCA
7. Athletics coach
8. Music teacher, director, conductor
9. Work with homeless and disadvantaged
10. Give blood
11. Participate in town or highway clean ups
12. Work actively with social causes (global warming, pollution etc.)
13. Generous
14. Giving

Other

1. Politics: party, interest in
2. Country of origin

Additional Resources

Qualities list with descriptions of each quality:
http://www.charactercincinnati.org/qualitieslisting.html