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Additional Information on Chapter 3, page 29 Psychologist Robert Sternberg defines infatuation as passion without intimacy or commitment. Obsessive infatuation may be directed toward just about anyone-a character in a novel, a movie star, an entertainer, someone who is unavailable. If someone enjoys the feeling of the fantasy and is unconcerned with any grounding inRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 3, page 29 What is it? A case of mutual infatuation, that is, two people are infatuated with each other. Psychologists often call this a “passionate relationship” or a “passionate romance”. We use the terms interchangeably below. Duration: Psychologists have determined that the “in love” condition lasts on average about two years. AfterRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 3, page 32 We use the words “love” “mature love” and “real love” interchangeable in the paragraphs that follow. Mature love may have all the intensity of emotion, all the saccharine-sweep pleasure of infatuation, but within a context of commitment and friendship. Unlike infatuation, mature love operates in the context ofRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 3, page 35 The transition from “in love” to real or mature love requires an understanding of “romantic acts.” Romantic acts is discussed fairly thoroughly in The Compatibility Code and in even greater detail under the Prescript icon in this chapter labeled “Romantic Acts”. Before continuing in the present discussion, pleaseRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 3, page 37 The book and the Chapter 3 Prescripts give you good feel of the importance of Romantic acts and how romantic acts are the bridge from in love to real love. With that in place I am going to use the book 1001 Ways To Say I Love You,Read more

Additional Information for Chapter 3, page 37 In The Compatibility Code we urge you to purchase Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages. As we consider what additional material we should include about love languages an obvious question emerges. Why try to duplicate what Chapman has already done very well? The eventual answer is simple:Read more

Additional Information on Chapter 3, page 27 In Psychology there are many perspectives about the nature of love and theories that attempt to explain it. We promised you under the Love Prescript to present a more detailed picture of Robert Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love. We start there. Robert Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory of Love WeRead more

Additional Information on Chapter 4, page 46 A great challenge that Elizabeth and I have encountered in conducting seminars is that so many participants have trouble understanding that logic and emotions are not mutually exclusive qualities. Stated another way, it is quite possible to have intense emotions and still make logical decisions. Another way ofRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 4, page 55 From the Compatibility Code: Jealousy comes in many forms, some of which are appropriate and some inappropriate. In the Bible, God is spoken of as “jealous of His own people.” Appropriate jealousy is typically associated with a committed relationship in which those feelings surface when the quality or evenRead more

Additional Information for Chapter 4, page 47 Abandonment is not discussed directly in The Compatibility Code, but the consequences of abandonment (devastation) is discussed thoroughly in the book on pages 51 – 53. Abandonment is a uniquely excruciating human experience.  This does not apply to romantic relationships only.  When the disciples abandoned Jesus in theRead more